Drama

You know how there's a lot of dramas on TV. Like Korean dramas that my mum and sis LOVE to watch. Like the indonesian drama my bro ADORES. The mss culture industry is really drilling into us these senarios that happen in dramas. Such that what Adorno and Horkhiemer's claim that imitation is absolute is coming true. That real-life is becoming indistingusihable from the shows we watch. Propagting the illusion that the outside world is the straightforward continuation of that presented on the screen. That's why I hate dramas. Because it seems that I'm living in one. While some may face drama at work or school and come back home to a cosy, comfortable sanctuary called home, I go to school to study and come back home to the "LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION" of drama. And it sure seems to me that I'm one of the villains and the hero is sure darn lazy to take charge and change things.

However, I still agree with Stuart Hall. He posits that the audience, us, can take on different positions in relation to the messages shoved into our faces. First, accepting and replicating the preferred code of message. Second, negotiating and modifying the message. Third, a global negation of the preferred code. I'm not going to take up the first position. I'm likely to combine both the seond and third position. Let see how it works out. 

Ya Allah, give me the strength to make things right. Kadang kala, aku tidak mengetahui mengapa perkara sebegitu berlaku. Adakah itu kesalahanku? Mengapa aku sering dipersalahkan? Dengan itu, akanku selalu berdoa meminta dorongan and pertolongan daripada Yang Maha Esa. Hanya kepada Engkaulah yang kami mohon pertolongan. Insya-Allah.

~Salam~

Relaxing

Too much relaxing for me... Just yesterday went out for a mini raya. Anyways, next week e-learning week. I'm going to once again plan a timetable and try my vrt best to follow it. This weekend, I've to finish my english, malay studies tutorial. Must and must. Because I actually like doing them. As for the rest, its interesting but tedious. Hope I have the strength to do all that is needed. Insya-Allah.

Sigh, I miss cycling. I used to cycle a lot during my hols. To feel the wind on my face. I feel alive. ONe day, I am going to cycle from my house to Sembawang Beach. Insya-Allah. I love the fact that Sembawang Beach is rather close. There's a mini jetty there. I've yet to visit Woodlands Waterfront. It has a super long jetty that extends halfway across the sea shared between Singapore and Malaysia. I'm so going to go there one day. Bila term habis, Insya-Allah pergi sana, tenangkan fikiran, fikirkan apa yang perlu dilakukan.

While I continue my reveries...I've yet to do work. Gosh, its nearing midnight. Off to watch Bones on TV. Hehehe...


Goodnight:)

~Salam~

Hope

 for a little bungee jumping

nothing beats some adrenaline rush

for a little kite flying action

to soar like the eagles

for a little cool and calm

to get away from the frenzy of city life

for a little peace

don't we all need some?

for a little alone time

to reflect and contemplate

for a little under sea adventure

crashing the waves with hundred-year-old turtles

for a little exotic adventure

with the creatures of the desert

for a little meeting with a Tuareg

the real blue man

for a little chocolate delight

that'll probably end in a coma

for a little coffee

to tantalize the taste buds

If I could do all these, Inya-Allah....

~Salam~

Complexity loves company

Yes, a week has lapsed since I last posted something here. That means that school too has just started. Again.
First thing I had to face was tutorial in which I was sensing but wasn't really perceiving. This just an attempt of mine to allude to the fact that I've been studying vehemently for my psych mid-term test. And also to prepare myself for the assignment due this Friday. Other than these, I thought, "Hey, things are going to be OK". It was okay. The test was better than I expected it to be.Alhamdullilah :) But the complexities began only when I got home. All things complex always has something to do with relationships, marriage, family and money. Yup. I won't tell which one but you'll be surprised. Hahaha... But the almost full-blown argument with my mum was very upsetting. To me. Because I usually don't intentionally raise my voice at her. Gosh, I seem to have perfected the art of miscommunication up to the point of arguing with my dear mum. Sometimes the age gap really has a subtle way of making itself known. Now I have to undo or at least salvage what's left of the situation. Cubaan...

On a happier note....

Hari Raya was great! Still ongoing. Hahah. First day, second and third...chaoticlah. The first house I went to and the first thing my cousin, Abang Aboy said "Sydiah, you lost weight". No "selamat hari raya!". LOL. I'm flattered I guess? BUT, I don't think I've lost weight. BUT, evidence surely doesn't point to that. Okay... he last check-up it clearly showed I lost weight. But I don't know HOW I did it. It just happened? And it can't be because of Ramadhan fasting. Coz I was already losing weight before that. Okay, whatever lah. I'm still in denial. I've not lost weight.Yes back to raya! Oh yes, the first house. Every year, we'll go to thesame first house and for sure, there's GOOD FOOD. Food that I swear I'll go on a whole week fast just to get meals like that at home. Curry chicken, rendang, sambal goreng(sweet and spicy) and etc. I shall learn how to cook real good food and have people crave them.Hahaha... Oh man, I wish I can go back kampong and celebrate raya. Tak pernah balik kampong untuk raya. Kalau balik kampong pun, belum tentu kampung mana. Banyak sangat kampong. Hahaha, kat Melaka, kat Tampin, kat Penang, kat negeri sembilan. Banyak adik-beradik tu pasal. moving on...Recently, my cousins (from the first house I went to) came over for raya. Both happily married with their own sons. SO cute lah! Abang Aboy again he commented about me losing weight. Yes I get it but I'm still in denial. He brought his wifey and son, Marc Elias. So adorable with bushy hair. Then Abang Saiful came with wifey and son. So cute!! Imagine just having flown back from Denmark and then having to move to Vietnam. The contrast.... They took time to visit. So sweettt.. Then much recently, my favourite cousin came to visit!! She brought her pair of twins, Balqis and Luqman.A girl and a boy. I swear they're the cutest twins. They were born on Valentine's Day. So sweet.They're soo curious. They explore every corner of the house. For their visit, I made large batches of MANGO and STRAWBERRY pudding. Success! Sweet and soft. Yay! I'm going over to their house soon. I hope once exams are over, I get to make large batches of pudding for everyone :)  Insya-Allah

~Salam~

Recess

Yay! At long last! It's recess week. Break from school. BUT, the term recess week is such a conspicuous facade. Its hidden meaning: Study Week. A week to catch up on readings, do tutorials and complete assignments and group projects and prepare for mid-term tests. And there's loads of them to do. And today, I am going to plan my time properly. Insya-Allah I can make full use of the time Allah has given me wisely. By tonight, I hope to finish scheduling. Ya Allah, give me the strength and guidance to overcome this challenging task you've put in front of me. If Allah brings you to it, Allah will bring you through it. Insya-Allah.

Being in arts to me at least, is thrilling. Because you've much freedom to do anything. What I mean is, unlike JC, secondary school, our timetable is very flexible. The fact that I can choose WHATEVER I want to study is exciting. So much so that I can't wait to bid for module for the next Semester. As of now, I've to focus on my studies. Originally a science student do pose some disadvantages but nevertheless the interest and passion stirring deep down inside for the unconventional arts will pull me through. I LOVE the fact that for English, we don't just learn about English, we learn about other languages (more often than we realise) like Indonesian, Hawaiian. Love it. I LOVE the fact that I see "texts", photographs, videos and the likes differently all because of cultural studies and sociology. It's like reading in between the lines but here more visual and thinking is involved.

Though I hate to end this post so abruptly, I have to get on with my scheduling. By tomorrow, the studying starts! I secretly wish to be a mugger. And also an artist. And Insya-Allah I will :)

~Salam~

Rindu Ramadhan

Sudah pun Ramadhan pergi meninggalkan kami....

Bila terdengar takbir bergema, hati terasa sangat pilu, sedih. Sebab bulan yang mulia, bulan Ramadhan seperti cepat beredar. Sebab ku terasa seperti bulan cukup menikmati bulan yang mulia ini. Sebab ku tak sanggup meninggalkan bulan yang penuh berkah ini. Rindu sangat bulan Ramadhan. Takbir yang bergema di radio berkumandang di rumah. Setiap kali ku mendengar takbir, akan ku menitis air mata. Emosi bergelombang di hati. Kepiluan dan kerinduan mencengkam hatiku. Terasa seperti terlepasnya peluang untuk benar-benar beramal ibadah di bulan Ramadhan. Namun, Allahuakhbar. Allah Maha Besar, Dia Maha Adil, Maha Pengasih. Pada saat-saat terakhir Ramadhan,asyikku terfikir akan nikmat yang Allah s.w.t telah mencurah-curah bukan hanya sepanjang bulan Ramadhan namun sepanjang hidupku. Terima kasih.

Kalbuku tetap dipenuhi kesayuan. Rindu akan orang yang tiada lagi disisi. Rindu akan orang jauh. Rindu akan rakan-rakan yang lama tidak kelihatan. Takbir kian bergema, kian ku menangis. Sesungguhnya, dapat ku rasa kekerdilan hamba di dunia ciptaan Yang Maha Esa. Namun, aku tahu Allah tetap menyayangi hamba-hambanya. Aku juga tetap manyayangiNya. Semakin bertambah kasihku kepada Yang Maha Esa.

Alhamdullilah. Insya-Allah, Allah s.w.t memanjangkan umurku, umur orang-orang tersayangku untuk melihat kedatangan bulan Ramadhan sekali lagi. Amin.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri:)
Dengan sayang dari temanmu,
Rusydiah♥

~Salam~

Tunggu Sekejap

Bagai daun yang melambai-lambai
Mengikut arus angin yang layu
Bulan Ramadhan sudah pun sampai
Namun, seperti angin cepat berlalu

Terasa cepat benar Ramadhan berlalu tahun ni bukan? Puasa dilakukan seperti biasa tapi macam tak cukup setakat puasa. Sebenarnya, hati berniat untuk benar-benar beramal ibadah bulan Ramadhan ini. Namun, kerja sekolah kian bertambah. Tapi, itu tidak semestinya menghambatku daripada memenuhi niat hatiku. Akan ku cuba dengan seikhlas hati, melakukan amal ibadah secukup mungkin. Terdengarnya lagu ini, hati kian sayu. Seperti teringin sangat menyeru 'tunggu sekejap' pada bulan Ramadhan yang seperti melarikan diri. Namun, sudah kehendaNya untuk masa berlalu. Dan akanku menerima takdirMu.

 Ya Allah, berilah hambamu ini kekuatan, kesihatan untuk menghadapi bulan Ramadhan ini. Insya-Allah, Engkau memberi hamba-hambamu kesempatan untuk bertemu bulan Ramadhan tahun hadapan. Amin.


~Salam~