Selamat Hari Raya!

Selamat Hari Raya!

Of recent times

Today 14 Ramadhan 1432H is 14 August 2011. Almost half a month of Ramadhan has passed by. Way to fast in my opinion. There are some things I haven't been able to do or have the courage to bring myself to do. Many things have happened this month. Events that makes you question. Of how strong your iman is. A dear one falling seriously ill.Permanently. His family in unsteady limbo. My dad with a constant frown. My mum who goes all out helping others neglecting her own. And me. I'm just tired. tired. tired. Plus I'm sick with a flu. And guess what, school just started. Things being dumped on my plate.I hate or at least try not to whine but this sucks.


 There's another angle to look at these events. 


In this holy month of Ramadhan, Allah rewards in abundance. And with that, one would have to be deserving to be rewarded. As such, one would have to undergo trials and tribulations to be deemed worthy. Menguji keimanan seorang hamba di dunia yang fana ini. Ergo, challenges brought upon us serves to test our iman if indeed we have a strong iman and believe in Allah. Insya-Allah.


A part of me supports the first perspective yet the righteous part of me prefers the latter, purposeful perspective. Hikmah disebalik segala sesuatu.

~Salam~

When A Tree Falls

Story One:

Leaving the dark and cold lecture theatre, she took in the bright sunny glare of the sun. Warmth at last, she thought. It was hot but the kind of hot you would love on any picnic day. Time to leave for home. Briskly, she walked towards the busstop. Saying goodbyes to her friend, she crossed the road and turned left to walk on the concrete pavement. There's much greenery on campus with huge oak-like sized trees looming overhead and mosses straddling themselves on branches. Smiling to herself, she drew nearer to the busstop. But, with the sound of what seemed to be a crack of thunder, a large portion of a branch crashed and splintered into a million pieces right in front of her. In a spilt second, she froze. Shocked. Unnerved. Dazed. Noticing some eyes on her already, she stepped over the wooden rubble. Walking straight ahead like as if nothing happened was simply a mask to hide the dismay of what had just transpired. Her fist as white as snow clutched tightly around her white cellphone. Hiding herself behind the advert at the busstop, she averted her gaze from any prying eyes. 

To put it simply, she had just escaped from being part of the wooden rubble. She was mere seconds away from being smashed on the head with a large rotten tree branch. It could happen to anyone and anytime. But it happened to her. There and then. And before it all happened, there were news stories of trees falling and crashing people's cars sometimes resulting in fatality. But this time, it happened to her. Astaugfirullah.

Story Two:
The time was 4.05 pm. Hurriedly she closed the door, the metal gates and locked everything up. Checking all the locks once again just to make sure. Then off she went down the stairs and crossed the road. As she was walking, she took out her cellphone to check for the time. As usual, she recited the doas to ask for protection and safety. Amin. Again, she took out her cellphone to call someone. Denied. Caller was busy. She rummaged her bag searching for an umbrella. Found it and clutched it tightly. It had just rained heavily from noon. Now, it was just a very light drizzle that you can barely feel it. As would be expected, nature was everywhere. That was what she loved most about living up north. The neighbourhoods are quite new and the trees are ever so green and young. She called it her own rural countryside. Living together with nature was always her dream. Looking up to check for the drizzling rain, there were random people walking towards their own blocks. On she went walking. However, she heard the same crack of thunder. Louder and distinct this time. And down half the tree went. Again, right in front of her. The tree missing her just by less than a metre. Thankfully it wasn't a huge oak-like tree. Stunned. Dismayed. Traumatized. Sad. 

Again. It happened again. What are the bloody odds? she thought. She remembered her mum's words. "Take a photo if something like that happens again." She fumbled for her cellphone but she felt eyes behind her. She walked round the half the tree lying on the solid ground. She could have been lying on that same floor.

Again. She almost became a victim. Always mere seconds away from escaping an uncertain future. Falling tree branches and trees right in front of her, on the very path she always takes. Why?

Thats my question. 

Why?

Is it a sign? 

An omen?

Is it a foreshadow of a not-so-sunny destiny?

If it is an omen, its such a cryptic one. 

Yes, it happened to me. 

Not once 

But twice. 

What if it happens thrice?

I can never know. 

Cubaan. 

Ya Allah, aku faham ada hikmah dan sebab disebalik segala sesuatu yang berlaku.
Terangkanlah agar insya-Allah hati hambaMu ini tenang semula. 

~Salam~

Jealous

Jealous.

Yes I am jealous.

I'm jealous that they get to be so close to Kaabah

I want to be there
Up close

Praying
To step on the land that Nabi Muhammad s.a.w had once stepped on.

A land tremendously rich with history

The only way I can go there would be Umrah or the Haj.
Then again, I have to save a ton of money to go for either one. 

Plus, one would have to be married so you can bring your husband as escort or

 if single, bring your father or brother. 

Both conditions aren't favourable

First, I don't intend to get married that early.

Second, I would have to save up twice a ton of money if I have to bring my dad or brother.

Oh well

If one has a faith no one can shake

Insya-Allah
Allah will bring us to it.

~Salam~

Ramadhan

Alhamdullilah. Once again Ramadhan has graced us with its presence. Long have I counted the days till Ramadhan.

First day of Ramadhan
Excitedly woke up for sahur. Though excited, I felt aimless. Entered the kitchen looking for food but to no avail. Clueless I was in choosing what to consume to repel hunger from my mind and body the whole day. In the end, my dear mother made scrambled eggs. I had egg sandwiches for sahur. Sure enough that kept me quite full throughout the day. Yup, it might seem little but the weeks before Ramadhan I was fasting. Fasting to pay my debt with Allah. So the practice was really helpful. Waking up before dawn to eat was a significant mark to the start of Ramadhan. The night before we even prayed tarawih as a family at home.

What I did on the first day...
Nothing much. Listened to surah Yaasin  in an attempt to memorize it. Since school will be starting soon, there's much to do to prepare. Plus, spring cleaning well, Ramadhan cleaning actually, happens around this time. The house has to be cleaned by the time Aidilfitri arrives. There's plenty to say about the cleaning process but thus far this blog post is reporting pretty mundane whatnots.

Yet, I will continue. For I am attempting to record everyday of my Ramadhan this year. Insya-Allah I can improve on how I spend my Ramadhan with each passing year.

Second day of Ramadhan
I did not wake up for sahur. I stayed awake the whole night. Aiyayai. I was choosing and bidding for my modules and its no easy feat securing the modules. Disheartening when you get outbidded and the module you want is a core module. I'm still a little pissed about that. Then again, everything happens for a reason and especially in the month of Ramadhan. Allah loves us everyday regardless of our situations. The more Allah loves us, the more Allah gives us challenges. To see if we truly deserve Allah's love.

Grumpily, I dragged myself into the kitchen. Scavenged for food and decided to eat my mum's cooking.
During the day, I spent my time again worrying about my modules. Whether I would get them etc. Gosh, I hate this bidding for modules period. Because I think too much for my own good. Too much thinking leads to insomnia leads to disrupted pattern of sleep leads to waking up late leads to mum's anger pouring over me. Even now as I type this I am awake at bloody 3 in the morning.

Okay, enough of my mundane whatnots and rantings. This post was supposed to be a positive one.

 I hope and pray that Ramadhan this year would be a better and memorable one for all Muslims. Insya-Allah.

~Salam~