To be happy or not to be

Seriously? Seriously?!

Yes, seriously I am happy. Ever since things took a change for the better(or worse sometimes), I believe I am better person now than I am before. Before...there was school and all the stress that entails the title of a student. There were so many things I wished I would rather be doing then other than study. The world of academia I was trapped in was all mere words and humanoids with a veneer of kindliness. I am happy to be rid of it. It wasn't the most horrible of times nor was it the most happiest of times. It was more of a state of tolerance. And everyone has a certain limit to their tolerance. Thank goodness I am very tolerant and full of patience (trust me, I can be very patient unlike any other until you burst my bubble then I'll get you!).

Now, it is different. I feel like a new person. Someone who could do anything. Someone who could pursue their passions. My passions... Its a long list but some important ones are to pursue my favourite field of visual arts, to be better for my family and friends and achieve an inner peace and happiness for happiness comes from within. If you need other people or material things to be happy, then there's something wrong dear. So far, I am reaching closer to those passions.

Because of that, I am happy. It feels strange to be happy. It has a je ne sais quoi feel to it. And I'm liking it.

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude."

~Salam~

Thanks

When many things are happening, albeit good or bad, sometimes all you can say is Alhamdullilah, thank you yet again for everything.

~Salam~

21 Guns

Favourite All-Time Song: 21 Guns sung by Green Day featuring the American Idiot Musical Cast



Do you know what's worth fighting for
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?
Does the pain weigh out the pride
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky
You and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul
Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky
You and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire?
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky


One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky
You and I

To put it all in a nutshell:  Violece never made anyone happy. It is never the solution.

~Salam~

Words from a wise man

To paraphrase what Muhammad Ali said to his daughter, Hana Ali:

Everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to.
Where do you find diamonds?
Deep down in the ground, covered and protected.
Where do you find pearls?
Deep down at the bottom of the ocean covered up and protected in a beautiful shell.
Where do you find gold?

Way down in the mine, covered with layers and layers of rock.
You've got to work hard to get to them.

Your body is sacred. You're far more precious than any diamonds and pearls. If they are mere objects, and they are covered and hard to attain, then how much more should God-loving women, also be covered. So when I see a covered woman, I know that she respects herself and understands that as God treasures her, she should also treasure herself, because “that which is holy is hidden.”

~Salam~

Hijab Problems?

Who's got a problem with hijab?

I suppose there are many people with such related problems albeit the hijabis or otherwise, non-Muslims and Muslims etc. Talking from a hijabi's perspective(yes, I wear the hijab/tudung. Surprise to those who didn't know! Well, you didn't know me enough), I do have problems with regards to hijab or wearing the hijab or adhering to the hijab code or with people having less than pleasant opinions or comments about it. After reading the article titled 'Who's got a problem with hijab?' and long trail of comments posted, it was comforting in a sense to know that I'm not the only one in this. It got me reflecting...

In the past when I was a little girl (it wasn't THAT long ago), my mother had me wearing the tudung or hijab. I've been wearing it ever since. But back then, I was clueless as to why I'm supposed to wear it. It was more of a habit then. As I grew older, there were so many questions with regards to hijab and etc. Why do I wear it? Am I doing it for Allah? Why is it that women have to cover up their heads and not men? How come there are other women of my faith not wearing the hijab? These are only a mere handful of questions constantly bubbling up in my mind. My mother who was my only source of knowledge with regards to this was also lacking the knowledge. My inquisitive nature just could not bear the state of being clueless. Even though I do attend madrasah every Sunday, there are some topics that are simply left to our own discovery. As such, I set out on my journey to discover more and more about my faith and hijab.

What I have found out thus far... To put it in a nutshell...

Wearing the hijab and following the hijab code helps me keep my Iman. You can say that it is like a constant reminder of Allah s.w.t. When I see others of my faith not covering up and prefering to adhere to the latest fashion trend as dictated by the rich few, it makes me feel sad.  Sad for them actually. Why? Because they are trying to suppress a part of their religion; being modest suddenly became a fashion faux pas today? And I have heard one to many of the same excuse for not covering-up. Some examples... "We're modern women, why should we adhere to strict dressing laws?", "I've got all the time for this. I'll do it when I get older"or "I'm just not ready". I guess partly they think that being modern means dressing in the lastest fashion and being open-minded when it comes to everything(pardon my harsh generalisation). If you're open-minded about nudity, is it impossible to be open-minded about modesty?  But I suppose it also takes time to learn and gain knowledge about Islam maybe thats why people are at different levels of piety. Even though, Allah has already designed your life even before you were born. Allah has also given you the power to make choices. I know this sounds confusing and I have been confused countless times about it. But Allah's knowledge is indeed beyond human comprehension.


Another thing that bothers me is that....Since I'm adorning the hijab, it does not mean that I think of myself as someone 'holier' than others. Of course there are the occasional slip-ups with my solat, the not-so-bad frequent pranks on people, sometimes screaming at my siblings, secretly wishing to disobey my parents. But aren't we all human? I never think that I'm better than anyone else because of what I wear. Wearing the hijab is my choice now. I could have rebelled against my parents' wishes and not wear the hijab and they cannot do anything about it. But now, the hijab has become a part of me. And I am happy.

What I have discovered has made me happy and peaceful within. Even though not all my questions were given answers to the fullest detail, I believe that being closer to the truth is better than being stagnant in thought.

Alhamdullilah for Allah has protected me.

~Salam~

Inner Peace

When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere. If you don't find peace within yourself, you will never find it anywhere else. If there is to be any peace it will come through being, not having. Forgiving those who hurt us is the key to personal peace.

~Salam~

Vicious world

Whenever I leave the house to face the vicious world, there will always be senarios that I face which will change my perspective of the world.

A few days ago, hungry and temperamental, my family and I went to have lunch with relatives. The food place was crowded as usual. But for the sake of the family, I tolerated. These days I felt that I was stuck in a funk. Simply didn't feel right. When we were sitted, I noticed a family close to our table. A relatively young man, together with his siblings or children. Seriously, it was difficult to tell. But to me, it looked more like the eldest brother bringing his siblings out to eat. His siblings (a 9 year old sister and two 3 to 5 year old brothers) waited restless for their food while feasting their eyes on the big menu displays. Later on, I watched from the corner of my eyes, them eating chicken rice. The responsible sister carefully tucked her younger brothers into their chairs, prepared their meals and cautiously feed her brothers with a silver spoon. Graciously, the spoon moved to and fro from the rice to her brothers' mouth a few times before finally reaching her mouth. It was such a touching and nostalgic sight. Why? Because that sister reminded me of myself when I was her age. Her actions seem to mirror that of mine in my younger years. I could still remember the times when I would change my sister's smelly pampers, feed my brother, sing my sister to sleep, hold my brother's hand protectively as we cross the road... The memories were simply too much. Such a sight of unconditional love and care may appear to be seldom but they do exist.

Soon after, we left and went window shopping. While waiting for my mum and aunts outside a store, a young man who really looked like he could be in secondary school or my age even, caught my attention. He was working as a cleaner in the shopping mall. He looked like such a decent fellow. But what caught my eye was he had a forlorn look on his face that I couldn't help but feel for him too. The way others looked at him and treated him was distinct. Maybe because of his line of work. But why should people be treated differently merely because he's doing honest work? Why are there stigmas associated to certain line of duties and occupations? In this world, there are no small jobs but only small people.

I suppose that is the way humans are. To look down on people labelled as 'lowly' just because...Because society says(or dictates) what is right, wrong, acceptable,unorthodox, weird and etc. Ergo, humans being weak, foolish and easily influenced, conform to the rules stated by society.

Back to the story..The young man continued his work. The forlorn look still on his face. There and then, I whispered a prayer, hoping that somehow life will be better for him and that he'll be happy or happier.
After that incident, I reflected upon everything...I am just grateful and happy to be given a loving family, to be given a chance to love them and be loved by them, to have good friends who are still friends with me even after being exposed to my eccentric ways and thoughts, to have a strong roof over my head, to have clean water and healthy(questionable considering the kinds of sinfully delicious healthy and unhealthy food in Singapore) food, to be able to keep my faith close to heart. The list is simply too long. The Almighty keeps giving me blessing after blessing that it seems countless now. There are good times and bad times when sometimes all you can say is Alhamdullilah. That was the time....And I was out of my funk. I felt right. I felt hopeful. I felt happy. I felt the peace within. Wait, I should really change the 'felt' to 'feel'. I truly feel right, feel hopeful, feel happy, feel the peace within even up to this moment.

And all of a sudden, the world didn't seem that vicious anymore...

~Salam~