The asinine things that I do

Everyone once in a while or often for some people like me, do very silly things. Sometimes it happens by chance. Sometimes its truly weird. Sometimes its the sheer combination of both.

I love watching the movies on a Sunday night. So there was this movie called Mongol last Sunday night. I have this fanatic obsession with anything foreign. Foreign movies, documentaries, foreign novels, languages and the likes. Once again like any other time before when faced with an obsession, I was deeply engrossed. The story was about Genghis Khan. 


Who wouldn't be mesmerized by his pain and suffering as a child and bravery and courage facing challenges and conquering lands far and wide(half of the world). Like the nerd I am, I really enjoyed the movie. And me being a history buff, I like googling for historical stories. Trust me I've googled historical facts ranging from Alexandar the Great to Marco Polo to Kublai Khan to Rumi to Ibn Battuta and etc. These historical figures are amazing in how they've shaped the world's history as we now know today. And Genghis Khan is no different. Yes, his ways are barbaric at times. Sometimes I really wonder what goes on in his mind. Like what on earth is he thinking killing his own people, ravaging lands from east to west, burning libraries, having many concubine/wives and by extension, having oh so many children. So much so that 8% of the men in a large region of Asia (about 0.5% of men in the world) is a descendant of Genghis Khan. Surprise(not!)


So back to the movie. Deeply engrossed as I usually become, I realize by careful observation that the actor playing Genghis Khan looks so much like my psychology tutor! I found it amusing because there really is an uncanny resemblance.First, my psych tutor is kinda bald but he has the classic moustache and well-trimmed beard but he is very fit almost like the Mongol actor. And his voice is deep, well not very deep but the kind of voice you see professors on TV usually have. Oh and he has an English accent of some sort. He's Japanese too. His image and his voice really don't match but somehow it grew on us. Yeah so actor playing Genghis Khan looks so so much like my tutor minus the balding part. Hahah, and I always have a tendency to obsess over someone in a movie and so I couldn't stop thinking about the Genghis Khan actor. Because he's good looking. And coupled with the fact that he plays a strong and powerful character. But his voice isn't as deep as my tutor's. Hmm, maybe its really true that 1 in 200 men in Asia is a direct descendant of Genghis Khan. 

Now by stimuli generalization, whenever I see my tutor, I picture the Genghis Khan actor and thinking to myself how similar they look. And now I gotta admit I kinda have a mini crush on them. Just like the crush I have on dear Mr depp. Well, wouldn't say its a crush anymore. It has simmered down to fondness. Thats what usually happens over time with crushes. Hahahah...The asinine things I get myself into. By now maybe you're guessing that I've a thing for old people who are long dead and have made an impact on the world. Yup, I admit.


Yes, I admire them.
Yes, I respect them.
Yes, I am amazed by them.
Yes, I hope to meet them someday.
Yes, sometimes I think I was born in the wrong era.

~Salam~

Sunshine

 it would be nice to see sunshine again after all this time

~Salam~

Bukalah Hatimu

"Sebaik-baik wanita ialah yang tidak memandang dan tidak dipandang oleh lelaki."

Aku tidak ingin dipandang cantik oleh lelaki. Biarlah aku hanya cantik di matamu. Apa gunanya aku menjadi perhatian lelaki andai murka Allah ada di situ.

Apalah gunanya aku menjadi idaman banyak lelaki sedangkan aku hanya bisa menjadi milikmu seorang.

Kalau aku ingin lelaki yang baik menjadi suamiku, aku juga perlu menjadi perempuan yang baik. Bukankah Allah telah menjanjikan perempuan yang baik itu untuk lelaki yang baik?

Tidak kunafikan sebagai remaja, aku memiliki perasaan untuk menyayangi dan disayangi. Namun setiap kali perasaan itu datang, setiap kali itulah aku mengingatkan diriku bahwa aku perlu menjaga perasaan itu karena ia semata-mata untukmu.

Allah telah memuliakan seorang lelaki yang bakal menjadi suamiku untuk menerima hati dan perasaanku yang suci. Bukan hati yang menjadi labuhan lelaki lain. Engkau berhak mendapat kasih yang tulen.

Diriku yang memang lemah ini telah diuji oleh Allah saat seorang lelaki ingin berkenalan denganku. Aku dengan tegas menolak, berbagai macam dalil aku kemukakan, tetapi dia tetap tidak berputus asa.

Aku merasa seolah-olah kehidupanku yang tenang ini telah dirampas dariku. Aku bertanya-tanya adakah aku berada di tebing kebinasaan? Aku beristigfar memohon ampunan-Nya. Aku juga berdoa agar Pemilik Segala Rasa Cinta melindungi diriku dari kejahatan.

Aku bukanlah seorang gadis yang cerewet dalam memilih pasangan hidup. Siapalah diriku untuk memilih permata sedangkan aku hanyalah sebutir pasir yang wujud di mana-mana.

Tetapi aku juga punya keinginan seperti wanita yang lain, dilamar lelaki yang bakal memimpinku ke arah tujuan yang satu.

Seorang gadis yang membiarkan dirinya dikerumuni, didekati, diakrabi oleh lelaki yang bukan muhrimnya, cukuplah dengan itu hilang harga dirinya di hadapan Allah. Di hadapan Allah. Di hadapan Allah.

Yang dicari walau bukan putera raja, biarlah putera Agama.
Yang diimpi, biarlah tak punya rupa, asal sedap dipandang mata.
Yang dinilai, bukan sempurna sifat jasmani, asalkan sihat rohani dan hati.
Yang diharap, bukan jihad pada semangat, asal perjuangannya ada matlamat.
Yang datang, tak perlu rijal yang gemilang, kerana diri ini serikandi dengan silam yang kelam.Yang dinanti, bukan lamaran dengan permata, cukuplah akad dan janji setia.
Dan yg akan terjadi, andai tak sama dgn kehendak hati, insyaAllah ku redha ketetapan Illahi..

Courtesy of 

http://www.iluvislam.com/tazkirah/nasihat/1691-titipan-buat-wanita.html?sms_ss=facebook&at_xt=4d60ceca64d7df19,0

Bila mataku terlintas akan kata-kata yang benar ini, terasa maksudnya meninggalkan kesan. Kini ku tahu sesungguhnya diriku ini bukan keseorangan dalam menghadapi emosi dan pemikiran sebegini. Alhamdullilah kerana mata hatiku celik dari lamunan hidup ini. Insya-Allah akan ku cuba menjaga diri hambaMu yang lemah ini. 

~Salam~

Amin

"I know you are there Allah. I know you see my tears. I know you hear my prayers. I know you are testing me. And all I ask from you is to strengthen my Imaan so I can handle the struggles in life and have patience. I love you my Lord. My Allah. Please keep me safe"

~Hadith of the Day, courtesy of my aunt. 

Another one!

Greetings people!! As you may have experienced while trying to view this blog, you may require permission of something of that sort. Well, now I've actually created another blog which is most likely going to be interesting. That blog called 'Rayna Reveries'(yes, not far off from what I call this blog) is going to feature some of these that have remained latent in my room...

Amateur sketches, drawings and paintings
Collection of postcards, stamps and pretty snail mail
Adorable little creations of mine that I made from scratch
Collection of photographs which I just like to share for amusement sake


SO that would mean I have two blogs. This one here is most likely going to be less active but this blog features more of the daily chronicles and complaints of my life. The other blog-Rayna Reveries- I'm actually excited about posting some of the stuff I have. So look out for that :) http://www.raynareveries.blogspot.com/
Click it! Click it! I know you want it! :D

~Salam~

Hiatus

Its been so long since I've updated this blog. This week was hectic. Jam-packed with action. Well, not action per se. Just lots of things happening. I got back my English mid-term results. Lets just say I'm pretty happy with it. Hope the same goes for the rest of my mid-terms. OKay, I'll be going on a hiatus for a while. Exams are coming and I've got to focus. So that's all from me till a month later.

~Salam~

End

Not all is bright and shiny in the world. Misfortunes, calamities and disasters always happen. Its unstoppable. I know that. But sometimes I just wish that they don't happen. A friend of mine told me that her younger brother got into an accident and is fighting for life. And I prayed and prayed for Allah's help. Then, today, I woke up really early at 4 am. My mum was awaken by a phone call with unsettling news. Someone passed away.  After hearing that, I couldn't go back to sleep. My mum asked if I wanted to go to the burying site and provide emotional suuport. I couldn't go. Not because I'm busy. Not because I'm lazy. Its just that I can't go. I didn't wantto go. The first time I went to watch someone being buried, I was ten and I was alone. Alone meaning my mum wasn't there. My dad was busy handling the deceased. Basically, I was unguarded and was clueless about death. When I think about it now, that's the first and the last time I'll watch someone being buried. But somehow, I now that that won't be the last time. 
Today, I was reading a book on Malay-Muslims during the Japanese Occupation. The atrocities committed by the Japanese during World War 2, despicable to say the least. Some of the cruel things they did: slapping, forcing people to drink water until their stomachs balloon and then sitting on them, forcing water to come out of any crevices, beating a man up till he died when he was falsely accused, beheading them for the most trivial things, depriving them of the basic necessities, torturing them and making them suffer with hard labour. Many other things that I don't want to mention here. And I want to highlight that it happened throughout Malaya. It seems that in the history that we learn in school, they seem to focus on the misfortunes of the Chinese but neglect the Malays and other ethnicities that were equally present then. I know that the Japanese probably targetted the Chinese for fear of communist activities but there were other people in the country that are probably more affected than them. Other than that, I truly wonder how cruel they can be. Like why do those horrible things? Aren't they humans too? Human life seems to be very cheap to the Japanese during the Occupation. For the lives lost, for the prolonged suffering, was there even any compensation after the war? Is monetary compensation equivalent to value of the lives lost of thousands of children, mothers and fathers, equivalent to the traumatic experience and indelible memories of suffering?  Other than 'apologizing' for the atrocities committed, was it enough? From my point of view, it wasn't enough. For me, when I think about it, forgiveness is out of the question. Then again, who am I to say this? When I myself haven't gone through any of it. I guess Allah will be the judge.

I get so emotional with these kind of issues. Because you cant help but feel for your fellow men. You know how sometimes we watch the news about an accident or some earthquake of the coast, taking the lives of many, you don't actually feel sad or grieve. But when it happens to someone in your social circle, your family, the sadness emerges. And when someone whines about how shitty or depressing their week is because of homework, or work or friends and such, I cringe. Because it really is nothing compared to some problems like poverty, disease, starvation plaguing other people on this planet. You should just be grateful for being where you are and strive to make it better. 

Much misfortunes this week. Though it didn't occur directly but because of the proximity effect, we feel for them. I feel for them. Okay, I shouldn't say anymore. Privacy is of the utmost importance to me.

Thats all I have to share. I dread reading the rest of the book on Japanese Occupation.

~Salam~