End

Not all is bright and shiny in the world. Misfortunes, calamities and disasters always happen. Its unstoppable. I know that. But sometimes I just wish that they don't happen. A friend of mine told me that her younger brother got into an accident and is fighting for life. And I prayed and prayed for Allah's help. Then, today, I woke up really early at 4 am. My mum was awaken by a phone call with unsettling news. Someone passed away.  After hearing that, I couldn't go back to sleep. My mum asked if I wanted to go to the burying site and provide emotional suuport. I couldn't go. Not because I'm busy. Not because I'm lazy. Its just that I can't go. I didn't wantto go. The first time I went to watch someone being buried, I was ten and I was alone. Alone meaning my mum wasn't there. My dad was busy handling the deceased. Basically, I was unguarded and was clueless about death. When I think about it now, that's the first and the last time I'll watch someone being buried. But somehow, I now that that won't be the last time. 
Today, I was reading a book on Malay-Muslims during the Japanese Occupation. The atrocities committed by the Japanese during World War 2, despicable to say the least. Some of the cruel things they did: slapping, forcing people to drink water until their stomachs balloon and then sitting on them, forcing water to come out of any crevices, beating a man up till he died when he was falsely accused, beheading them for the most trivial things, depriving them of the basic necessities, torturing them and making them suffer with hard labour. Many other things that I don't want to mention here. And I want to highlight that it happened throughout Malaya. It seems that in the history that we learn in school, they seem to focus on the misfortunes of the Chinese but neglect the Malays and other ethnicities that were equally present then. I know that the Japanese probably targetted the Chinese for fear of communist activities but there were other people in the country that are probably more affected than them. Other than that, I truly wonder how cruel they can be. Like why do those horrible things? Aren't they humans too? Human life seems to be very cheap to the Japanese during the Occupation. For the lives lost, for the prolonged suffering, was there even any compensation after the war? Is monetary compensation equivalent to value of the lives lost of thousands of children, mothers and fathers, equivalent to the traumatic experience and indelible memories of suffering?  Other than 'apologizing' for the atrocities committed, was it enough? From my point of view, it wasn't enough. For me, when I think about it, forgiveness is out of the question. Then again, who am I to say this? When I myself haven't gone through any of it. I guess Allah will be the judge.

I get so emotional with these kind of issues. Because you cant help but feel for your fellow men. You know how sometimes we watch the news about an accident or some earthquake of the coast, taking the lives of many, you don't actually feel sad or grieve. But when it happens to someone in your social circle, your family, the sadness emerges. And when someone whines about how shitty or depressing their week is because of homework, or work or friends and such, I cringe. Because it really is nothing compared to some problems like poverty, disease, starvation plaguing other people on this planet. You should just be grateful for being where you are and strive to make it better. 

Much misfortunes this week. Though it didn't occur directly but because of the proximity effect, we feel for them. I feel for them. Okay, I shouldn't say anymore. Privacy is of the utmost importance to me.

Thats all I have to share. I dread reading the rest of the book on Japanese Occupation.

~Salam~